Sorry!!

Oh, I know. I suck.

I haven't written in a while because I'm busy w/med school, which is kicking my ass like nothing else. I literally study all.the.time. If I'm not studying, then I'm going out on random Craigslist dates.

CL Guy #1 was an intern at Tufts Med. He was tall, cute, charming. He went to Villanova and Jefferson Med School, both of which I have never heard of, but I didn't hold it against him because he was tall and cute and funny. I'll call him Melville.

We walked around Boston, went to a random townie bar, and we came back to my apt, where we TALKED until 5 in the morning. It was insane, our chemistry. Clickclickclick everywhere. We exchanged about 40 or so texts, and we met up again the next day.

Mind you, I had to WALK to his place on Columbus Ave, and that's a far walk from where I live. And it was fucking raining. But whatever, he was cool, he was cute, and I wanted to make out with him a little and see how big his dick was. So I went over, and we pretended to watch TV until he finally put the moves on me and we hooked up.

It was mediocre at best. He was a good kisser, but let's just say that he probably skipped out on a few anatomy lessons during med school. Doctors are usually supposed to be GREAT in bed... but this one? Kind of a dud. I mean, this is all extrapolation, of course. We never actually fucked. Just came close to it, that's all.

He told me how sexy I was, how much he liked me, how he loved my sarcasm.... and we had this weird conversation about trust. As in, we kind of established that he didn't trust me and that I didn't trust him(we had only met 48 hours prior). Then I kind of freaked out on him, "Oh my god, this is so weird... I met you on the INTERNET and we're hooking up!" And I basically left his place at 2am, even though he was practically begging me to spend the night.

He texted me twice the next day, and I wrote back only to 1. And this was over a week ago, and I haven't heard a peep from him since.

I was so hugely dissappointed. Then I remembered that he said to me as we were hooking up, "You shouldn't ever trust a guy." What a weird thing to say! He was a guy. Truly ominous in hindsight, but what can I do about it now? Pretty much nothing.

I then thought about what happened and what I did wrong, and basically, what I did was that I killed my own mystery. Men chase the mystery, the thrill of the unknown, the possibility of getting some, a la man de la Mancha. But I practically gave my shit away the 2nd night I met him... and maybe I came off as desperate.

It took so much self control not to text him or call him, but finally I had to delete his number so I wouldn't do it. I fully expect never to hear from him again.

But what bullshit! What the fuck was all that about, us staying up until 5 am just fucking TALKING?? Seriously. Was he just bored? Was he just toying w/my mind? I don't get it.

I thought I had a pretty good grasp on the male gender until this Melville bullshit. I seriously had half a mind to just march over to his dingy apt and DEMAND to know why he hadn't called or texted. I will never, ever understand men. NEVER.

CL Guy #2-- sigh. Well, he's great on paper, but he's kind of asexual and dweeeeeby. Like, he's thin and short and kind of androgenous with shaggy hair and unkempt clothes. But he's got an MD AND a PhD from Harvard, he's completely brilliant, and I'm pretty sure he's the smartest person I've ever met. We went out for drinks last night, he emailed me when he got home saying he wanted to see me again, and I wrote him back and told him to call me whenever. So that's pending.

It took that awesome date/rejection combo from Melville for me to realize that the best way to make sure a guy loses interest is to put out. I should not have put out so soon, so much. Oh well. At least I learned and now I won't make the same mistake ever again.

All right, back to studying.