I don't wanna look like Brooke Hogan

I was reading Henry Taylor this morning and came across this line:

"...but all I learned was, when the wicked die,
they ride combines through barley forever."

Hilarious! I need to use this line in a conversation with someone soon.

I got up this morning and did 7.25 miles, but I was doing it at the gym and the clueless guy next to me was trying to talk to me. HELLO?? You don't talk to someone who has no makeup on, who is sweating like hell, and has her ipod cranked up. I said, "Talk to me after I'm done" and kind of glared at him. When I was leaving, he quickened his pace(aka nearly stalked me) and we had this gem of an exchange:

Him: "So, uh, are you training for the marathon?"
Me: "What? No." [I look at him like he's stupid]
Him: "Oh. Oh. Because I always see you running and you work out so hard. You look like a runner, too."
Me: "Are you saying I have thick tree trunk legs?"
Him: "No! Your legs are great! Really muscular."
Me: "You just ruined my day. Seriously, get away from me."

One of the downsides of running is that it builds muscle in my lower legs. My calves are already big enough from wearing goddamn heels all the time; the last thing I need is legs like Britney Spears'! Ugh. I build muscle really easily. I'm convinced I have an excess of testosterone in my body(hence the out of control facial hair that looks like a mustache if I don't tend to it properly). But he seriously pissed me off and I'm thinking maybe I should do something else for my cardio instead of running. I don't want to bulk up. The same thing happened to Anna Wintour(I can't believe I know this, but I have read her biography). She was a devoted runner until she started getting muscle-y and she switched to tennis instead. But I don't know anyone who will get up at 6 am to play tennis with me.

And I fucking hate the elliptical. It's so... gay, to use a late 90's term. The only thing I hate more than the elliptical is the sight of a MAN on an elliptical. Jesus, pick something more manly to do. The elliptical is for chubby girls with various joint ailments. Did I mention I hate the elliptical?

I have to get a date for tomorrow night. It has been too long since I got out of my apartment for social calls. I'm hanging around the Harvard bookstore today to see if I can spot anyone cute. And then, out of sheer desperation, I am going to ask him out. And if he says no, I'll ask out the guy next to him. I'm beginning to care less and less about how I am perceived by society in general.