Venus

Today was a better day. Almost any day is better day than yesterday.

I had lunch with Mark today. We went to a cute little bistro on Beacon, and we sat next to one of Mitt Romney's kids. I didn't know who he was, but Mark knew him and said hello. He was cute.

Ben's mother called me today. I've only met her twice in my life(once in 1997, and once in 2007) so I was surprised when she called. Summarily, she berated me for my choices and told me that Ben was too good for me. Ben, ever the Mama's boy, obviously went to her crying and bitching about how I left him and how he's irreparably broken inside. What a pussy. I was polite and told her that whatever happened between Ben and I is none of her business, and to please refrain from ever contacting me again. It was surreal. I can't believe Ben isn't embarrassed by any of this.

I was talking to Mark today when he said: "You really don't have any vice, except men, do you?" So true. How well he knows me! All of my problems can be traced to one man or to another. Why am I so obsessed with men?

I found this ad on Craigslist about amateur erotic modeling. Some dude is paying $200 an hour for "hot, normal women" to pose erotically and for the copyrighted images. It was taken down about an hour after it was posted, but I emailed the guy and asked him how serious it was. He said it was very serious, and I sent him a few photos, and he said he would pay me $300 an hour for me to pose for him if I let him take an unlimited amount of pictures.

I told Mark about this, and it completely freaked him out. He begged me not to do it, but I still really want to. Part of it is the money, but mostly for the fun of it. He was all like, "Are you crazy? What if they end up on the internet? You can kiss your career in academia goodbye." That may be true, but maybe I don't mind. Or maybe I'm bored and I'm looking for trouble again.

I ate too much at dinner and lunch. I feel like an absolute sausage. I'm getting my period and I'm turning into one ravenous, hormonal bitch. It's times like these when I'm sorry I don't have a man to nag and emasculate. That always makes me feel better.