$23,000

Here's what I'm worth to Ben: $23,000.

I had so much fun today going to Tiffany and getting my ass kissed by all the snooty salespeople. They wanted to "teach" me about the clarity, the color, and "what makes a Lucida ring so special." I drank champagne as they asked me questions about Ben, and they showed me earrings, other necklaces, and I even got to try on a bracelet that was loaned to Nicole Kidman recently! The day in itself was worth $23,000. Is this what kept women go through every day, until they hit 35 and get all wrinkly and gross? It's addicting, this feeling of being admired and envied.

I could definitely see myself becoming a trophy wife. It's fun.

OK, gotta go. Ben's taking me out for sushi and we'll probably have some thank-you sex afterwards. I think this ring calls for that 3some he's been talking about forever.