Two out of rotation

Trainer boy is working at Equinox now. I really didn't want him to work there, because the women are v attractive(considering it's Boston) and superficial, so I know he'll get hit on a lot. The attire there is practically a bikini top and spandex Daisy Dukes, complete w/camel toe(gross, I know, but men like trainer-boy find this appealing). We're cooling down anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter. He's been more busy and doesn't call me 2X a day like he used to. That's fine. I've become indifferent.

I had lunch w/Elizabeth(iced tea for me, chicken salad for her) today and she said she was "disappointed" that things didn't work out betw Jack and I. That's news to me! That we didn't "work out," that is. I saw him 2wks ago and I thought everything was fine betw us. Of course, I haven't returned his calls or emails, but I was planning to get around to it, eventually. I guess we're over by default. I could probably get him back again w/one txt msg, but I'm not feeling up to it. He's not the complete pussy that I thought he was. Huh!

The thing w/dating multiple men is that it eats up too much time. I don't have enough time to bludgeon my body into perfect form, do my work, AND manage to keep something going w/4 different dudes. It's not that much fun after the 1st week, and it just becomes hectic going forward. The first week is all ego, all the time(Wow! I'm hot enough to date 4 guys and I'm not even fucking any of them!) but once that's over, it's practically a full time job. Sometimes I'd tell the same joke to the same dude, and I'd only get a quizzical look in return, as in, "Geez, you're dumb. All those drugs and alcohol must have shot your memory." Uh. Haha.

Lately, I've been contemplating getting back together w/loser ex(I will have to come up w/a new name if we do become a couple again). I could use the break away from Hvd, and I'd love to live in Palo Alto for a semester... And I could do worse than gain some stability in my life, right? I've always wanted to live in the West for a while, and if I go to CA w/loser ex, I won't have to worry about housing and the incidentals. I'm sure there will be a price to be paid somewhere, somehow... but the idea of living in CA, away from Boston, is so appealing to me right now.

Of course, I'd have to find something to do for a semester. I already talked to the Kaplan people, and I can transfer to a branch in Palo Alto. That will bring in some money, at least. I could write more, and finally get a manuscript together. That will probably not bring in any money, but at least I'll have finally done what I've wanted to do since I was 19.

And maybe I could get another dog! I had a dog once, but I had to give him away when I moved. Please don't vom, but loser ex said he would be open to the idea of raising a dog together if we both moved to Palo Alto. He said: "It'll be good practice, for when we have kids." Yeah, right. I do not trust loser ex's sperm to give me non-mutant babies. My ovaries would hate me forever and then some, if I ever propagated his genes. It grosses me out sometimes when he makes presumptuous statements like that.

I ran 9 miles today, and I nearly had a heart attack when I was getting off the treadmill. I sort of fainted(ok, I did) and a bunch of people rushed to my aid, and I woke up a minute later, all sweaty and embarrassed. I couldn't tell anyone that I'm starving myself and am possessed by the exercising demon because I'm getting ready to seduce someone, so I just said I was dehydrated and people seemed to accept that. Someone bought me a smoothie and I took a sip for the audience, and threw away the rest when the crowd dissipated(do you KNOW what all those refined carbs will do to my waistline? Only assholes drink smoothies after they work out).

I WILL pound out 10 miles tomorrow, though. I'll have to do it when there aren't a lot of people around at the gym, in case I pass out again. Stupid people who are concerned about others! They annoy me.